Uncategorized
Scramble and partition of tourists, a tale of Moyo/Ma’di at Mt Otce.
“I will be ready to go as soon as I put my cold feet into my wet sock then into my wet shoes,” for those whose minds are over reading the ‘wet’, oh yeah at one point we had to either put off our boots to go through a dry flooding river or brave our inexpensive boots to go through it.
A tale of dogs turned guides, 7-inch tall grass, a drone(winks), a pool of water, a man who shifted (snatched) his woman from a different close, bitter huge oranges, extemporaneous politician, and a HORN.
Did you know that humans were always outdoorsy? We evolved with the scent of the trees and the blossoms, the clean air, and the sunshine upon our skin. Perhaps it should be an idyll we make an effort to regain.
It was a long and never-to-be-forgotten trip of our lifetime because the money will not spend itself. We were caught up in a rush hour to catch up with the ferry and this made the party bus go silent (for the first time) they claim they had no refill so they didn’t want to waste it.
This was the largest tourist event to ever happen in Moyo, we were told it was a big deal for everyone involved and I am still happy we were part of the process of exposing more remote parts of the country to tourism. Unfortunately, we got caught up in some local politics and a clash of cultures.
People have dreams and I want to believe this particular weekend was to fulfill someone’s dream. A dear friend of mine one time hoped to plan a hiking event but he said, “I will give you an experience you will never forget, I do not want people to forget me.”
For fear of being forgotten, one Acholi and his wonderful team made us forget that we were in an abusive marriage with our government and the effects of covid19. Despite everyone being time conscious, we still left late and that’s how we ended up playing catch up with the ferry at Laropi landing site.
Upon reaching the camping grounds, we received a VIP welcome cultural dance to an unbothered crowd. As people were conquering land titles, there was a scuffle of a pool of water and latrines under construction. As for me, I always enjoy my bush showers however this time I had a tent veranda shower.
At the crack of the next morning, the sun peaked out from behind the surrounding hills, we could see the first rays of the sun grace the earth, before our eyes, the clouds became lit with a fabulous, warm light as the rising sun announced the coming of the new (suffering) day.
The greens of the grass rose to so many high notes of color as any good classical piece will do. The grass moved as a heaven-weaved quilt of the earth as if by root and stem it stood in protection of us. This grass made me realize that I’m not as tall as I considered myself to be, it was shadowing our sight and hindered swift movement.
Our boots met the rocky path as if eager to morse-code their way as the perfect angels gave me soothing sounds for my ears. Cheers to you my choir that sounded overwhelmingly beautiful (at that time) we need to test your cords again.
The dog guides that joined in on the hike; at some point, we got lost in an intersection in the middle of tall grass until one of them came along, sniffed the path, and ran off in what turned out to be the right direction the lead group had taken.
If you do not feel important amongst your people just try and travel to Moyo, you will find yourself in a clash to be owned by locals. As soon as locals received reports of tourists flocking to climb Mount Otce, the locals from two sub-counties didn’t take it lightly.
The entitled Otce community threatened to frustrate the tourists if they do not honor their plea to camp in Otce sub-county. While the locals Dufile Sub-county were working tooth and nail to impress the tourists.
As the trail came to an end, the local police hijacked us to what we can describe as a community day. We ended up attending a political party, speech day, an exhibition of crafts (the best part), and me being me of course I participated in the cultural dance that I did not pay attention to my tired limbs. Most of my group members sat in disbelief, agony, anger, fury, viperous, and inhospitable, I was having a time of life dancing to unknown songs now here I am having new followers from Madi region.
They accused the kitchen crew of making yellow poop full of matooke (in their context) they can tell their poop from tourists’ poop. The poop was in a ka pool of water but the dude got a stick to disseminate it just to prove they were right. The chef was pinned over his people pooping in the toilets under construction.
The most memorable part of the night was the party in the wild; neon lights, face painting, glowing wrist bands, glowing birthday cake, the DJ that enslaved us on the dancefloor,
One gentleman couldn’t handle what God had blessed him and escaped to his tent to watch something (we hope and pray that he didn’t get any muscle pains). Then some pretended to wait for sunrise on the dancefloor yet they were timing someone’s happiness.
As if the DJ got this memo; Be my air, be my sweetness, be my tumble into giddy darkness- be the sort that brings the most ridiculous joy. Let’s melt into this party, melt into the best, and sweat until our hearts call for the luxury of bed and the chaos of our entwined dreams.
The mountain has absorbed the essence of my soul and returns it so purified.
Abandoned beer, painful cold, wall of death, pillow mbisi gang, human mule, and the collapse of Muyenga Empire.
Whether you’re someone who admires the towering beauty of mountains from afar or up close, there’s no denying how fascinating they are. From the unpredictable wilderness to the unmerciful weather, there are so many ways that conquering mountains can help shape you as a person.
When you decide to hike the world’s largest Mountain Caldera, you have to be ready for anything mountains are full of surprises. But don’t let that fool you, if you are contemplating the hike, it can dip to near-freezing on a sunny day on top of the blinding fog.
This mid-year hike to conquer the highest peak of the world’s largest mountain caldera (Wagagai 4321m ASL), this was anticipated like any other. The initial plan had been to escort our colleagues who were who intended to use it to ready their bodies for more challenging Margarita in a few weeks. It is the altitude, endurance and confidence we are talking about here.
Some of us (read writer) are so outdoorsy, love the sound of nature, adventurous and full of vibes. It is okay and by the way very okay to just jump on any activity happening as long as there will be adrenaline rush.
As the Uganda Wildlife Authority (UWA) guides were taking us through the route to Wagagai, the back-benchers, as usual, didn’t pay much attention, confident that the 10kms they run in Kampala would save their legs and knees. They (the guides) made so much fun of it all that many of us, mbu “champions of mountains” may have missed an important take-away, the “Wall OF Death”
Of course, the gods were ready to receive our sweat, tears, puke and all the other human waste we could gather when it all started. We climbed the fabled wall of death as simply as reciting our ABCs…, wait, hold, I will tell you how it ended.
Put my body on a fitness plan of running every after two days and see how the first two climbs confirmed that I had homework on my workouts to do. The rate at which I wanted a refund and buy a jeep wrangler for retirement was faster than 1’57.
Fun Fact:
Mount Elgon is a volcano but has not erupted for a very long time (three million years or so) and is regarded as extinct. It’s a solitary mountain with gentle and long slopes, intercepted by steep cliffs and rivers.
Its caldera happens to be one of the biggest in the world stretching for almost eight kilometres. Most of the peaks are on the rim of the caldera. Wagagai is the highest spot at 4321 meters and lies within Uganda.
To protect the park and its habitat, the area was gazetted as a national park by the Uganda Government. The park is managed by the Uganda Wildlife Authority (UWA). The Uganda-Kenya border runs across the mountain (check it out) and both countries have created a national park with a view to conservation.
“A braggart young man thought the mountain experience would help him throw solid vibes at a belle with his pro-camera wrapped around his chest. The rest of us cheered him on, excited that finally our trek would be professionally documented every step of the way (tulina okufunamu mu bintu bino). The ‘profession’ went all of two hills out of a thousand before he (n’akantu ke) became sweeper (team sloth), appearing 10 hours later. “Loosi justi”
As we approached Sasa river camp, a heavy downpour gave us a run of our poncho money. As we were told, it rains unexpectedly on Mount Elgon hence you need to be prepared and beyond that do not let rainmakers eat your money. But heyhoo! Come rain come sun we had to reach Mude camp before dark.
Porters porters porters they deserve a standing ovation in fact they deserve to be recognized as national treasures to us. As we were stuck with just our water, guys ran uphill with our essentials and down the mountain as if a walk in the park hweee.
Never ever I repeat never ever ask a local for the distance remaining to cover. Guys legit told us “you only have 3 climbs and you will be at the camp” wooo that statement ended in unsolicited tears. We climbed 15 hills to Mude Cave camp, the hut could disappear and reappear.
At Mude cave Camp temperatures go below freezing point and that’s when you have to get ready for a cold and freezing night prepared or not, the night frost pierces right through to the bone.
As Bruce lee once said “Showing off is the fool’s idea of glory.” At base camp, this gentleman had shown off his solution to the cold night we had ahead of us, a full woolen blanket and noise for us pillow mbisi gangoz…guess what he woke up the bitterest person that his cold curb was wet by midnight hehehe.
The pillow mbisi crew was crying with him as he didn’t expect his wisdom to turn out into foolery. In all honesty the coldness at Mude cave camp was sent straight from our ancestors who are against our adventurous lives. As one cute dude said empewo eluma eno baba (This coldness bites).
Just 5 steps from the fire and boom you are as cold as frozen yoghurt. There are wise people who opted to camp in the kitchen, a wise thing but not for the smoke.
As for some other wise guys who carried the biggest tent (Muyenga) and even collected rent from us who just desired to fart in there, some investor bought that piece of real estate for all of zero dollars. The original owners sought warm refuge in trekker huts, almost too small to accommodate them all but hey, who was taking pictures…
Then, there was the mysterious case of abandoned beer this is Uganda bana, abomination. On the way from the summit, some wise guy excited his compatriots with the idea of importing beer from the camp, a whole of 13kms of climbs and descends. Of course, it had been a long day and everyone had earned their drink.
A porter was sent downhill to buy beer. Dinner was served, stories were told and even the drizzles came for the party but beer ‘myee’. Still the 6 brave and thirsty men persevered in wait for their (mwe beer companies mumpe ez’obulango- mulaba lockdown ekalubye).
By the time it arrived at midnight, our gang of six had long given up and in their tents or whatever it is that kept them warm. Gwanga mujje was sounded for beer but waaaa… their response? Bambi tuleke twebike, oyo mumwenywere (please excuse us, you may have it). At this point, I would like to apologize to other Ugandans for the behavior of these six. It shall not happen again but we need to bring them to the counsel of brewers.
A serious hardworking gentleman has a speed climber for a hero and admires him so much. As we were summiting, this wonderful gentleman got to the peak earlier than everyone and he felt V-power kind of engine was ignited. He reached Mude camp and ignited to reach the base camp same day.
We all know this man’s energy couldn’t enable him reach his destination but we believed in his grit and endurance levels. As he tested his creator, a Good Samaritan found him half dead on the trail and decided to carry him on his back to the base camp.
As our own strongest man in the universe found comfort in the human mule, he started weeping and cursed why he attempted things beyond him. As he called on his mother for the rescue, the mountain had to come off strong and prove it’s made from Mother Nature.
As we descended further, the mule, who was happy to see his cargo in sobriety, found delight in telling the story, complete with the moaning, the weeping, the massage in a bathtub,
When climbing up, the focus is on one thing: get to that next hold. It is a very in-the-moment activity. You don’t think of falling. But on descent, one imagines many things.
The wall of death as it sounds was and is still near-death experience, brings nothing but thrills, excitement, fear, your heart beats in your ears, aching knees and muscles. This wall is considered utter torture to humanity.
What you gain on your way down, on every painful step, lowering yourself down slowly and gingerly, is clarity. You start to understand the mountain. You’re no longer looking up at the summit, but retracing your steps with greater care and attention than you gave them on your way up.
Confessions from my teammates
Lamech Muluya; The truth remains…Elgon is beautiful..
No one will ever understand the wall death unless you climb and descend it…mean while the whole wall…When it’s slippery more over. Owulira nga amaviivi gagenda kutukamu
I got some weird thought upon realising that the place was getting too slippery….almost faked epilepsy so that AAR chopper picks me……banange nga nfa obulumi….
SK: The Isaac of the group walked himself to a brutal end (Goat we had for mchomo)
I trekked alone for a while in that forest, and kept imagining that a wild cat would come from nowhere & swallow me up!
Baroness: Naye the funniest comment was during that “silencer” trek up when someone commented on the different type of leaves on the Irish potato plants in the community gardens. I was in shock ffe tubadde mu struggle.
“It’s not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.”
The journey of the most intriguing quest of Plan B
Throw it away, forget yesterday, we’ll make the great escape,” Boys like Girls knew what it means to make peace with an empty town, village.
When people we believed in promised us Plan B and it did not come through, there is a place in Bukwo District that had all our Plan B interests at heart.
Millennials would never understand what it means to go and fight for freedom. Well, I and a bunch of friends were going to fight for freedom of being in the wilderness. Was that freedom declared at the UN congress?
A tree trunk larger than a mountain stands on the top of a mountain so thick, bushy, and rocky was the myth we were told about Mount Riwo. On the ranges of Mount Elgon an extinct volcano in Eastern Uganda which borders Kenya, lies Mount Riwo. In a community populated by the Serbin tribe, home of the world Athletics champions in Uganda and popularly known for Female Genital mutilation practices and rituals.
It was estimated to be a 12-hour journey with all necessary breaks and stopovers. First of all, the chatterbox in me was silenced with a bet to be quiet for an hour, well I’m happy to report that I won the bet, and friends that’s how I lost my voice again.
It seemed like the road to yesterday kinda journey, shout to the in-house DJ who made the journey memorable. Songs played on a road trip are so close to my heart because they are part of my experiences. Until he played the lovers on the bus music and made us wish we had lovers even. Next time DJ please avail lovers for us and play your music.
Ten hours into the journey and we were not even close to the destination. The road was undulating, zig-zag, dusty, and bumpy. This whole situation made the bus burst in the middle of nowhere, which scared the hell out of us. I thought we had encountered an ambush of some warlords hehe that needed some blood to suck. There was a full moon and the thought of werewolves or vampires wanting blood to suck couldn’t leave my mind.
We realized that the AC system of the bus burst and produced gas that was not dangerous to our health. In my understanding, I will attribute the bursting to one Stingy Men’s Association of Uganda (SMAU) member who opened his wallet to give a woman some ka money.
As all the issues were fixed with the bus, we embarked on our quest to nothing for another painful two hours and that’s when it dawned on us that the bus could no longer maneuver through the road and we had to opt for trucks. An evacuation plan was for us to hop on the trucks so that we reach our destination.
It is always good to have an emergency bag on standby; out of frustration we just picked whatever would make us comfortable forgetting our tents and luggage on the bus. As if smuggling plantation workers to go and work for free in a rich man’s farm is how we were behind those trucks. We crossed three dry rivers but do rivers get dry or these guys do not know the meaning of a river.
Reaching the camping grounds is when we realized that we had to carry the tents to pitch camp, hahaha, a bunch of wise people. The trucks had to do a return journey to pick our luggage and that’s how we ended up sleeping under the skylight. We pitched tents at 6 am Saturday yet we had to get ready to conquer Mount Riwo.
The hike to the peak of Mount Riwo was a walk in the park to those who do speed climbing but to the sloth ones, it was tough and memorable. Some families stay up there and the only means of transport are the donkeys. They are farmers hence they use cows to plow the land, language spoken is indigenous. It was rocky, steep, bushy, the peak would come near and far.
Leaders take presidential directives seriously, one chairman refused us to access the community to continue to the peak we looked like investors who would sell off their land and exploit minerals. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. At that point we realized we had moved with a commander in chief of dance troops, lady rallied everyone into dancing for the community and the dance gave us access to the peak.
We respect communities and their cultures and I love to preserve the things that identify us.
At the peak of Mount Riwo, views of Mount Kadam were visible, Saum the route to Wagagai, the peak of Mount Elgon, herds of cattle grazing as farmers sing along with ox plows. There is a big rock guess that’s where lovers meet because they were designed as a haven for those who won’t retreat.
Unfortunately, there are still cases of child marriages as the one leader told us that girls are married at the age of 10 and our visit contributed so much to encouraging girls to stay in school. I pray that every girl grows up to live in their divine purposes not just being married off at a young age.
The bathroom is another thing to write home about; the room was so tiny that we had to implore ostrich tactics of bathing you would choose to either bury the front or the behind to fit in the bathroom. But who cares, the bare ground was there for those who bathe like rich people lol.
Every hike is crowned with music and I mean good music, laughter, campfire stories, cuddles under the skies.
But again we had celebration woo-hoo birthdays should always happen in the wild.
Catch you next time.
Psalms 104
24,251 Rails
24,251 Rails
If you don’t know the real meaning of random then hello you have met me. Welcome to my world but hey no judging no laughing. I have done a lot of crazy but then my randomness is crazier than I thought. A friend of mine, God bless you Zu named me monsoon winds, I knew monsoon winds from History classes I took but here I was defined as monsoon winds.
The English saying that an idle mind is a devil’s workshop well let me say idle me is a monsoon me typical of random, a whole mood right? Uganda etandise okunyumila (Uganda is enjoyable) is now a saying for people who have started enjoying their country and there is so much more to see even in the strangest place.
My legs and energy took me to Natete hahaha of course not to breathe new Kampala air as I alight from Western Uganda. I went to Natete to start on an 18km journey along the railway line and the stop was at Port Bell Luzira. This journey was to be accomplished on foot let me call it the great trek.
A round of applause to Mountain Slayers Uganda, oh by the way you need to look out for their annual calendar activities if you wanna challenge the extreme pain your body can handle. Well, they organized another one dubbed the Railway hike meaning you are going to walk, run or sprint on the railway line until the end of the hike.
Nateete is located in Rubaga Division on the southwestern edge of the city of Kampala. And is one of the places that has many connecting routes and these include Wakaliga Road, Kibuye/ Nalukolongo, New Masaka Road which connects to the Northern Bypass; and the Old Masaka Road which connects to Entebbe Road.
My emergency contact (cheers to you girl for always keeping a smile on my face) couldn’t stop bragging how she grew up in the suburb and joked on how we should go and campaign never know we would win the elections.
Who are these people? Where are they going? Were the questions we encountered honestly we were strangers in this area.
As we embarked on our trail, behind the busy town there lies a quiet place full of abandoned playgrounds with kids playing, women, carrying their merchandise for sale, paddles of water, markets, and homesteads.
From Natete we crossed through active suburbs; Nalukolongolo, Kabusu where the famous Sembule Steel Mills and Roadmaster Cycles ltd used to be and now Ntake Bakery has the biggest bakery in Uganda.
To recap a bit Sembule Steel Mills was the leading manufacturer of steel products, radios, and televisions whereas Roadmaster cycles manufactured bicycles that were a household name and our fathers used them while going to work.
Connecting to Ndeeba, there is floriculture with beautiful flowers grown for sale. It is a beautiful scene that calmed our anxious nerves. As it seems like a no man’s land then you get to meet Ndeeba market.
With all the rowdy people enforcing the presidential directives of wash your hands before you access the market, these guys were tough and no one would pass without washing hands. The third market encountered following the rails.
Through Ndeeba market we reconnected to Kibuye market, a market recognized in Kampala as one of the biggest markets for agricultural products and serves the greater Makindye Division.
Kibuye harbors the underground tunnel where the train passes however it is a kingdom to a cartel (Kifeesi) and because we do not belong to the kingdom we did not want to be inaugurated prematurely. This inauguration would require you to lose property or even life that is how we passed above the tunnel to continue with our good Uganda.
There is a lucrative business going on along the railway line; collecting scrap, used pet bottles, music, and drug cartels too. With people seeing enchanting where we were going or what we were up to, we experience some drizzles that got us panicking thinking we would die as martyrs on the trail.
As we continued through Namuwongo Industrial area to the ghetto to Bugolobi as we overlooked Muyenga. This is the point we stopped seeing people and it was us against the unending railway line, no side roads, I must say hoping on the rails is an extreme sport that needed some ugali and other energy-giving foods. I had to surrender my umbilical cord.
Have you realized that as you come to the end of the race that’s when you feel your legs cannot hold your shoulders and legs at the same time, you start thinking what made you start, you start cursing the chief hiker (if you don’t cuss him then you are too fit).
As we were advised to split up to follow social distancing guidelines, I split up with a sweet gentleman (I would have eaten him even). Now as we chatted our way to the finish line we found the train assembled and in our wisdom, we decided to follow where the train faced. To our surprise, we had reached where the ship tips cargo onto the train.
We were almost tipped on the ship until one nice officer found the lost us.
In my counting, there are 24,251 Rails from Natete to Luzira. If you ask me how I came about this number, just believe.
Photocredit; Anthony Natif and Ronnie
Birthday police raid
As many always anticipate what might happen on the birthday eve that comes on a weekend, of course, it’s the Kool & Gang- Celebration ringing at the back of your mind. Let’s celebrate a new age and what the Lord has done for us in the previous year. 365 days of experiencing the faithfulness and goodness of God is so overwhelming and amazing how every day, hour, minute, and second of my breath is to glorify the Lord.
I always get excited about my birthday and I always tell whoever cares to listen about my birthday even when I know they will not send any candy or chocolate or a treat, I always take care of my birthday celebrations. (This is the part I ask God to fall in love so that I experience birthday with bae).
Considering what 2020 has offered in the past month’s everyone needs to celebrate the small wins, small moments we used to take for granted. During the lockdown period, I grew more close to people, I appreciated every single minute I spend with people and I promised always to celebrate everything.
Excited me on my birthday eve, I got many invitations for food (oh I love to eat) I should say meat at a picnic ground. The Inviter knew what sweeps me off my feet and just took me to unwind and eat myself to madness.
Meat is a stimulator of sleep, comfort, and laziness, this means after eating too much the next thing to do is to just sit and let the enzymes digest food. As I was letting my busy body be lazy I lost count of time because there were laughter, board games, and arguments of course.
In the country that imposed a curfew to 9 pm, the last-minute people leave wherever they are at the top of the hour. I should put myself in the last minute people bracket just to avoid looking perfect. At 9:15 pm is when yours truly Queen of the Nile decides to leave the picnic ground to go home. As my special person got into an argument with folks of the best footballer and who deserves that golden boot. Men and soccer, of course, this argument had to go for another one hour but still, we don’t know who the best footballer is.
Time check 10:15 pm, and the legends ignite the car to drive off for home. This is when it dawned on us that the law enforcement crew had cordoned off the place and we couldn’t drive out of the gate. First of all, I fear law enforcement officers but still, I was too tired to argue my way out of the raid.
So being wise or unwise, we drove back to go park and chill in the car until the morning we could not drive out but stay in. things got real when men in uniform showed up torching in our faces, asking for identification or any paper that allows me to be out past curfew hours.
Shit got real to me! I could not believe in my whole clan inclusive of my best friend’s clan, not even a single soul would come and rescue us or even help with bail. I failed to say my name out loud all in fear of it would ridiculous and I go first.
With all my survival skills I had in my head, none of them came to reality; I could not throw myself on the ground to throw tantrums, I could not forge vomit to come out not even a liquid of susu would pass out just for the officer to have mercy on tiny me.
Interrogations started speaking Swahili and I was so green about the language until I told the officer if you are to arrest me I’m entitled to one phone call and talk to my lawyer. All this I learned from movies thank god we watch them but I didn’t know they apply in Uganda. If you ask me who my lawyer was, it was the same person I was with and the only phone call I would make if given a chance. As I was pointing to my lawyer my lawyer was pointing at me as his lawyer until I declared that he would die from prison.
Little did we know the officer wanted to hear another language of course the sweetest language everyone would hear loud and clear. (I am not going to mention money). We negotiated in the language we all understand and we were let to go. As we drove off laughing at how we were going to sleep in the coolers we came across another roadblock asking us the same question.
Time check 11:30, I would tell the officers I was going to the hospital but all this fell on deaf ears. It is a crime to fall sick after curfew hours or else you will pay for your sickness. Came across five roadblocks and we had to speak the clear language we all understand.
Until we reached home laughing at how idiotic we had trusted each other to be a lawyer. But who on earth would trust me to be their lawyer there you would get ready to be president of prisons.
We survived to go into mandatory quarantine but our wallets didn’t survive the wrath of law enforcers.
The Puddle of water
Special shout outs to you left me out, you didn’t tell us, you didn’t invite us, next time go with me crew because I know you actually won’t show up even when invited a year before the event. We all use the internet for the same thing to look out for fun activities around the country if you can afford just hit the road and love on God’s creation.
Okay, enough of the rants with buzzing texts I got from people I know can’t even walk 100metres.
So before all the lockdown happened, there was a calendar for places to visit, hike, and diversify our culture. Due to unforeseen pandemic, my kuzunga legs were cut off I had to ignite the spirit of staying home to follow social distancing guidelines. That was not a fun part at all, I was drained mentally and emotionally.
Golden opportunity hits my inbox for a hike spill over because apparently, slots were over in the first bus huh sad indeed but the getaway spirit just ignited and got ready to move at whatever cost.
Destination your guess is right as mine; Lake Albert. (Before you go to a place make good use of google to estimate how far and what people to meet). Located at the border of Uganda and DR Congo, Buliisa District in the Bunyoro region with a diversified culture of people who stay there.
Due to the oil mining that will soon start, infrastructure is top-notch besides our country will be rich from oil export.
There is a mix of tribes in the region; Alurs, Banyoro, and Congolese and this makes language spoken hard to grasp. The economic activity is fishing, cattle rearing, and farming. The beauty of having a game reserve near a lake is indescribable.
As usual, excitement got to my high nodes, packed everything crucial for the hike not forgetting enough candy for power charge ups.
Community
The houses in the community are not fully constructed or I should say the mud grass-thatched houses on the lakeshore that serves as the fishing village. The business is the normal village of people having utility shops around.
The most exciting residential houses are the way the pit latrines were constructed. There is a zone out strictly for pit latrines a whole lane of pit latrines. To my surprise is that every person in the house has their pit latrine, daddy doesn’t share with children latrine.
And because not everyone knows latrine manners of course we found some good human manure littered all over the place with a fully constructed lane of pits.
The children are of course joyful they opted to take half the trail with us as they were wondering what on earth would make humans just walk fwaaaaa in the sand and fish. But again chief slayer just didn’t tell us to carry sandshoes, I was struggling to pull my tiny legs through the sand.
Did I forget to mention, the trail where we were supposed to pass was waterlogged (I should say full of water for sanity). We encountered a puddle swamp and hell broke loose when we were assured of removing our beautiful shoes and use of our feet to cross a 500m puddle swamp.
My head had all imaginations of crawling water animals or reptiles that would tag along my legs or just one mistake to fall in the dirty water full of all fecal products. I concurred my fears, it was all team spirit because I held onto someone’s hands and thought about the Maldives as I crossed, my mind was off it. But hey that was a breather to make our feet cool down for another long walk in the desert.
As we moved like warriors who escaped from Sobibor, we encountered another long stretch, hot as Kalahari, dry we could not sit under trees to reminisce on the 90’s romance. As I counted the cows and goats that were grazing not even my wildest imaginations would get me to slaughter one to the gods of the place.
All my jazz I had prepared vanished from my head as my throat was asking for more water to drink. Needless to say, we had a chef on the bus who packed for us lunch, and some things are not easily outgrown I ate my lunch as early as we hit the trail so I had no lunch only my edibles I had carried.
The most tempting people in the world are the Boda Boda riders who kept on passing us showing off how they can reach before us and looking at us like fools who just wake up to walk aimlessly. Truth is some people got on the rides and reached before us but when the hills call your name better answer with respect and walk until the finish line soldier on to the end there’s so much potential in you.
Of course, there are sights and sounds to enjoy though what would you expect in a dry land, a hydropower plant? We were told Kabalega Hydropower plant generates 9MW of electricity that is used by the locals in the community. The water used in electricity generation comes from a river that was separated by some barriers. Okay guys I don’t remember everything in this part but they generate electricity there.
And my absent mind was on for a long time until we got onto Tonya escarpment that almost saw my kidneys fall off from my inside. Tonya escarpment had me rethink my life goals again for the tenth time, my shoes felt heavy, I remembered the lunch I had eaten earlier, it had endless bends that made us joke about our legs. Walk with people who will encourage you to push on even when you know it’s impossible.
After conquering all the nine sharp bends, we were headed for one more last that broke everyone’s Achilles’ heel. The beauty is there exists a tree shade (whoever made it knew people would need it), designed with seats for cooling off after a heavy climb. This is the point where our medic on the group gave us some pointers on how to handle altitude sickness and keep skin and heartbeat in check only to tell us we had 2.5kms to go.
Huh! My heart skipped back to my ancestral village but I was more than ready to conquer whatever is ahead. Charged up with my last biscuits, water, and more sugars to level up. As we moved just after 100meters and we saw the end of the trail.
I’m so sad that I did not conquer my 2kms I had geared up so well for. But who does that that is the suspense I hate in my life? I will never get to see beyond 100meteres of that last bend.
Statistics show that we did 13Kms in 5hrs. It was an easy hike.
The most orgasmic thing is that everyone finishes the hike even those that use bodas to reach it is allowed.
It was a fun one we initiated a theme song for the party bus and some people were baptized new names. Now we have Uber, Moses, or Musa and Ricky Rosy hahaha big up guys. Unto the next one every call from the hills, valleys, and mountains we shall answer with maximum respect.
Questions my niece asks
There is always joy unexplainable when your siblings get off springs. Being an aunt is one of the special blessings God can ever grant you. Niece or nephew the love you towards them is unexplainable. You want to spoil them, welcome them to your world and be the extra parent, friend, confidant or even prayer partner.
One of my brothers gave me a beautiful namesake, huh did I forget to mention kid looks like me I hope the mother is not jealous. Amidst all the catching up, being the cool aunt I think I’m now rendering myself not so intelligent. Girl asks questions that take me to my meditation room to think about answers without causing more questions.
On a normal day, I am asked over 500 questions and trust me I answer only 20 others I just look on you know old age or I’m just tired yoo.
Niece: Auntie Ruth, you mean you have a grandma, daddy has a grandma, mummy has a grandma and I also have a grandma. Which means everyone has grandma.
Me: Yes, it’s called a family tree
Niece: A family tree? So every family has a tree where they go or sit under?
Me: No. a family tree is a lineage that shows you parents of your parents and their parents.
(Now both of us were really confused, that description did not really sink in her ears well enough.)
Niece: So you say grandma in jinja has a grandma also and parents? Where are they now we have never seen them?
Me: (agitated me) they live until their old age and they went to be with the Lord.
Niece: Now I have two grandmas, one is daddy’s mummy and one is mummy’s mummy. Why doesn’t mummy’s mummy have a grandpa the way my daddy’s mummy has one.
Me: Because mummy’s daddy went to heaven
Niece: so then why don’t they stay together in one house so that we go and visit them altogether?
Me: Because they are from different families they can’t stay together
As confused as we both seemed, another session started.
Niece: So Aunt Ruth, How old are you?
Me: (Eyes wide open), 20
Niece: 20? That’s a lot of years. I’m just 6 now you are very old that means you are soon going to heaven.
Me: But 20 is after being a teenager and finishing school so you will be 20 one day.
Niece: So daddy is your brother
Me: Yes he is my elder brother
Niece: ehhhh! He is also old
As if her problems were solved then. Another session comes in
Niece: Why does my stomach go inside when I breathe?
Me: (this is when I ran back to my biology class to remember diaphragm and all that but I didn’t want to get more questions) because the air goes in your stomach
Niece: so when I want to stop this air what do I do?
Me: It is continuous sometimes you do not even notice you are breathing God created us like that
Niece: When you say God created us like that, why are some people brown and us black?
Me: it is just different skin colors but we are all in god’s image.
Niece: But you see God should have made us the same color and give us same hair also
So now where we are now someone tell me how to explain this.
It is always an awesome time listening to all their banter and unnecessary questions, I have been asked where the food goes, when my wedding is because I have over promised them to be flower girls, when I get children will I allow them to carry.
On a serious note, love your nieces and nephews you might be their guardian angel.
And parents allow your children to bond with their uncles and aunties.
A letter to my mother
Dear mother,
It is that time of the year again when social media will be awash of people celebrating their mothers, photos, appreciation, and how their mothers mean the world to them, how they sacrificed for them to be happy.
For the few years God gave you to me I remember vividly how you would chase me around just to give me that sapatu oh God I was an active child. The food, the freedom and I will never forget how you forcefully made me read all books of the bible in Luganda actually singing them. I’m glad you did that because right now I just remember stories and all. I had a sick childhood but I remember all those nights we were in the hospital.
Very many years later, I keep on imagining what life would have been if you were here. I admit I would still be the most active one, fuller of life. Oh, I forgot to tell you how you missed celebrating with me all my small wins, you missed the talks about my first boyfriend (maybe you would have beaten the hell out of me), and of course, you missed the break-up story too.
So every time I see people praising their mothers, I always wonder what today would be if you were listening to all my bunter. Honestly, I cannot say I have experienced enough of your love it is a void in my heart and life.
See how you missed seeing me in that white gown, grandchildren, and that husband who I would maybe be reporting every time, see me here winning in this world but I keep on dedicating everything to God and you.
Dear mother, even that you are not here I still celebrate you every day of my life. I’m not alone you left me with loving aunties they have loved me unconditionally. My father, your husband has been the best in this world.
Oh gosh! I honestly hate mother’s day
Curfew curfew curfew
Enhe so here I was very bored as each one of you, all my work from home assignments are almost over, endless virtual meetings with supervisors, and low behold my head, legs, and entire spirit were tired of the confinement of home.
The muzunzi in me started whispering and convincing me to take that walk at 3pm; Lord have mercy I listened properly and took a walk. I made sure I use all the panyas (shortcuts) to make it longer and tiring as I was greeting all my neighborhood friends.
Time check 6:30pm unworried me is still gallivanting on the road going where you ask I also don’t know. As I was feeling pretty it dawned on me that in a few minutes some law enforcers (LDUs) would teach me how to interpret curfew and president’s directives in my local language.
This is the moment when the coward in me surfaced; history has it I fear police officers with all my heart, I was those kids who used to faint every time they were caning people for poor maths results, ii would shiver profusely on hearing the word kiboko, I would run in circles the whole with my mom just to dodge kiboko on top of that climbing trees.
Now remembering all this I increased my walking speed; legs were asking for some waiver but I didn’t listen, this is how I landed on a serious muscle pool just five minutes to curfew. (Laughing emojis) a muscle pool at this time! Come on thigh you will move I will not be beaten because of you.
As I was still convincing my leg to move faster, I now started thinking about survival modes. What if I’m stopped what would poor me, the whole clan has no lawyer, no high-rank officer no one that can save me cheeei. This is when I knew my heart can stop to function, I couldn’t feel my heartbeat as the leg was dragging.
I had almost half a kilometer to walk as my head was having a meeting of elders for survival; it’s called crisis management. Heeee! The easiest way in case I was found on the road I would roll down crying and of course, I will let some susu come out because I need the pity from officers.
In this small time, I saw very many police vehicles bypassing me (hands on my head) I was thinking the next car will have to stop me and ask me where I was going. The leg, the heart had to comply with my ordeal and they moved faster.
To my surprise, all shops were closing time check 7:15pm, huh! Everyone on the road was moving faster but I guess they did not have muscle pool issues. 500meters from my house I call the gateman so that he opens up I just dive into the gate the devil is a liar boy was not picking calls all the time. Now I knew soon I will be taken back to visit my ancestors.
Reaching the gate it was open, I just jumped in and I had this relief sigh of hweeee! That was so close.
Then I remembered my English course when we were told to write stories on Narrow Escape was it the only topic we could write about.
If you don’t have a strong heart just don’t be out towards 6:30pm time can rush and that’s when the devil plays on your capabilities.
Coward in me can never be found out of my house after 4pm.
I miss being a monsoon
When they say carry a smile, you need it!
Having New Year’s resolutions is different from fulfilling them. Let me take you on a journey of the greatest resolution for 2020. Investing in adrenaline experiences, travel more, meet new people and do more challenges was one of the resolutions I made.
So yeah, Mountain slayers Uganda a group of people who love to slay all mountains, forests, islands, rocks and whatever as long as it has walking and climbed in it. I came across a poster with Semiliki Slay and oh my excitement kicked me, called my partner-in-hiking we paid up and got ready for the hike.
I hiked the Tororo rock as my first hike and it was so glorious so again I thought to myself Elgon is next, I slew Mount Elgon 4000m above sea level, it was hard huh but I came down healthy happy and an accomplished human.
So yeah your guess is right as mine, Semiliki is easy only 25kms and only 5 hills, I was excited to show off my hiking skills. Hiking has no skill at all.
One lady called Sarah urged us to carry happy faces, souls and good attitude; (you will know why we needed them so bad).
Just a brief background Semiliki National Park is located in Ntoroko district dominated by Bwamba farmers, Bakonjo, Batuku and Batwa and sprawls across the Semliki Valley with sights of River Semliki that borders DR Congo and Uganda. The park contains special features; mountains, hills and oh the male and female hot springs that boil up to 120 degrees.
Going on a hike with new people is as tricky as you may think mostly with caution to carry a smile and good vibes. Signed up for work leave, packed my bags, did all necessary shopping and for the first time, I was punctual at the meeting place hehe.
Arrived a bit late, pitched our tent, had dinner and off to bed to get ready for the next day. But of course, rumors were all over how the trip had balokole and prayerful girls who went straight to bed without enjoying the campfire stories and events. As the morning approached I was more than ready to conquer all the hills and distance.
Dressed up with a wide smile ready to slay the hills I was told as I was updating my online friends how they needed to pray for me huh. Your guess is right as mine, breakfast was not heavy and of course, the enzymes had to complain a bit but as strong as an African you have to move.
At the foot of Kyamutema hill where the whole suicide started from, we were told all the tales and one unique tale that caught my attention was the Nyamitoto hill that used to produce a spear every year and one hunter would get it to go hunting. The myth of how the spear appeared and disappeared I can’t tell. Another one is Nyamustwa hill that is governed by the Royal Kingdom of Rwenzururu and it has a Small Lake on top of which can only be viewed by lucky people, whoever determines the luck God knows.
We believed all these tales. The first climbing was smooth until we couldn’t find the flat land to rest the feet. First 10 minutes seemed like a full day on the hill. As if that wasn’t enough altitude sickness kicked in and oh God that’s followed by vomiting and dizziness again we were told to hydrate but that couldn’t work.
As I used to brag that I don’t sweat, hooo I had a full river of sweat dripping down every pore on my body, shirt wet, pants wet and that’s when I knew it’s real and the 25kms were a scam.
I normally love to sing while doing the hardest stuff and oh yes I tuned on my vocals with my partner-in-hike songs failed me and I was wondering how on earth did I get myself on that hill. Couldn’t I have stayed at camp read a novel or watched my series! All this was a myth I was halfway the unending steep.
Kaleyaleya Hill was the fourth to be conquered but it broke all the brake pads in my legs. Full of rocks, steep slope that saw many go down on their buttocks, bushes, and plantations so basically if you got stuck you just call your ancestors or emergency contact.
I don’t curse but I learned some few words to curse creation and curse Sarah too because she got us in the ugly nasty situation. Until at one point when I saw the end of the tarmac and this was the main trading center. As I thought that’s it, it dawned on me that it’s the last hill we had to cover, Mukonjo Mountain, at this moment whatever was the myth behind the hill I couldn’t grasp anything my heart was in the toes and thighs pumping blood faster.
Reverse sloping wasn’t helpful, sideway sloping not either, buttocks worked for some few minutes, forward was harder because the toes were asking for some rest. But every time I looked back I decided not to give of course I can’t embarrass my whole clan.
The only motivation I had was seeing the bubbling hot springs; I held onto every pain and story from the hike until I made it to the hot springs. It was amazing to see nature and how hot water can just be there without people in it; I honestly needed a hot bath.
More and more tales of course of how a woman lost her child and when she went looking she found hot water bubbling up and when the village gathered they saw and named it the female hot spring. The male hot springs are just a few meters and as we walked there my brain had stopped thinking and listening so I don’t know how the male hot springs came about.
Accomplishing a hike is the most orgasmic feeling ever, you push yourself not to give up, connect with nature, connect with people around you, learn about the culture of locals and oh the breathtaking views of mountains, hills, valleys, and the green.
Ask me if I can go back, heck yeah! I would go back on the next one but I will carry excess smiles because my smiles helped a lot.
Mountain Slayers Uganda keep doing what you are doing as long as you don’t slay Kololo Hill. Sarah Jean thank you for giving me a new walking style and I had to explain to people who were asking me what took me there.
CANDY LOVE 